Todd Chester: "Hey Griswold, where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?" Clark: "Bend over and I'll show you."Ģ2. "And why is the carpet all wet, Todddddd?" - Margo Chester (aka Elaine Julia Louis-Dreyfus as the Griswolds' very annoyed and distraught neighbor. "Clark, Audrey's frozen from the waist down." - EllenĢ4. "Eat my road grit, Liver Lips!" - ClarkĢ6. "Yes, it's a bit nipply out, I mean nippy out." - ClarkĢ7. "Wouldn't be the holiday shopping season if the stores weren't hooter than they-hotter than they are." - ClarkĢ8. "I was just looking at something for my wife, God rest her soul." - ClarkĢ9. "What is it? A letter confirming your reservation at the nuthouse?" - Grandpa Artģ0. "If that thing had nine lives, she just spent ’em all." - Cousin Eddieģ1. "Hallelujah! Holy sh*t! Where’s the Tylenol?" - Clarkģ2. "I’m sorry, this is our family’s first kidnapping." - Ellenģ3. "Dad, you taught me everything I know about exterior illumination." - Clarkģ5. "You couldn’t hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant." - Uncle Lewisģ6. It's going in our living room." - Clarkģ7. "Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?" - Audreyģ8. If you rub it for me, I'll give you a whole quarter." - Grandma Griswoldģ9. "Your grandma's got a real painful bur on her heel. "Take a look around you, Ellen! We're at the threshold of hell!" - ClarkĤ0. "It's a one-year membership to the Jelly of the Month Club." - Clark GriswoldĤ1. " She’ll see it later honey, her eyes are frozen shut." - EllenĤ2. Audrey Griswold: "He worked really hard Grandpa." Ellen's dad: "So do washing machines."Ĥ3. I don’t want to spend the holidays dead." - Ellen GriswoldĤ4. Quote them at your next holiday party, needlepoint them on a pillow, and make them your new get-through-the-season mantras.Ĥ5. These are, without a doubt, the best one-liners-and okay, two- to three-liners-from the movie. It's an all-too-relatable case of Murphy's Law, and it'll get you through the grin-and-bear-it moments during those weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year's better than a shot of cousin Eddie's eggnog (though that certainly could help!). But while dealing with wonky lights, getting locked in an attic, reconnecting with hillbilly cousins, and serving an extremely dry turkey (to name a few!), Clark Griswold's (aka Chevy Chase) sense of humor carries him through it. It's a heartwarming tale of a man who just wants to create the perfect Christmas for his family-only to face obstacles at every turn. During the holiday season, there's no better way to get into the yuletide spirit than by watching National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, oh, roughly two to three times a week.
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